Bacon Jokes (made by real people!)

Ok we all know how yum bacon is, but the only thing bad about it is that it’s not exactly healthy is it?.. Although I have been putting my bacon in an air fryer these days which makes it a little less bad for me. I’m on a diet at the moment so even writing this post right now is making me salivate a little..

To distract myself I’ve pulled together a big breakfast of bacon jokes (that are not made from AI!). I have fully curated these, added some myself and as always I have added a printable version you can cut out and serve up to people to maybe tell each other at the breakfast table. If you have any jokes about bacon, then please let us know in the comments so we can review and hopefully add them to the list!

A card on a marble surface reads, What tree does bacon grow on? Porcupine. The card has a purple border and a website link at the bottom.

Bacon Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What do you call a pig that has no legs? A groundhog.
Bacon will kill you. But, smoking bacon will cure it.
What tree does bacon grow on? Porcupine.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would skyrocket.
Why did the pig run naked across the football field? He was streaky bacon.
Why was the meat packer fired? He was bringing home the bacon.
What pig is used to make spicy bacon? Peppa pig.
How many vegans does it take to eat a strip of crispy, delicious bacon? Just one, if no one’s looking.
Why did the pig decide to stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat.
What’s bacon’s favorite movie? Grease.
With what crime was the bacon thief charged? Hamburglary.
What do you call a pig at the beach? Bacon.
What will happen if you play tug of war with bacon? You will get pulled pork.
Why did the pigs car smell like bacon? Because its porking brake was left on.
What is the best story about bacon? Hamlet.
Why didn’t anyone want to play soccer with the pig? Because he always hogs the ball.
What was the name of the frog’s favorite crisp dish? Croaky bacon.
What do you call bacon that’s 100 days old? Ancient grease.
Got attacked by a bacon plant the other day. Turned out to be a ham bush.
Who was the smartest bacon lover that ever lived? Albert Ein-swine.
What do you call a farm that sells chickens and pigs? A chicken, bacon, ranch.
What did the bacon do after school? Its ham-work.
Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road? She was a slow-pork.
How did the bacon go to hospital? In a ham-bulance.
Why did the slice of bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk.
How is bacon like southern Europe? It’s got a lot of Greece in it.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Does anyone ever try Canadian Bacon? I hear it’s the nicest bacon around.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer? He got a little behind in his deliveries.
Why did the girl pig break up with the boy pig? Because he turned out to be a real boar.
Why weren’t bacon and eggs allowed in the restaurant? Because breakfast was not served there.
What’s the best way to eat turkey bacon? Gobble it up.
What should you use to write secret messages about bacon? Invisible oink.