Ah blankets, nothing quite like one to make you feel cozy and relaxed. I swear we are like Pavlov’s dogs and once we get under a blanket, our brains just decide we are tired and are ready to sleep for the day.. even if it’s the middle of the day still.
Well here is our collection of curated blanket jokes (no AI here!) that we have reviewed and added to ourselves. We also have a free printable version of 10 of them that you could use, maybe leave one on the bed for your partner to find? Hope you enjoy and if you have any to add, please let us know in the comments (we read them all) so that we can add them to this list!
Blanket Jokes
- Why was the child’s blanket arrested? For being an accessory to a kid napping.
- I’ve only got a couple of hours left to finish weaving this blanket. It’s a looming deadline.
- What does a blanket detective do? Go undercover.
- I used to hate the electric blanket. But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it
- What kind of moron invented the fire blanket? Surely fire is warm enough already.
- I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements about beds. It’s just that they are my quilty pleasure.
- Watson, this bed is missing something? No sheet Sherlock.
- I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle of the night, I’m not covered.
- My wife asked me, “Which one of my two quilts do you like better?” I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
- What kind of blanket has the most patience? A weighted blanket.
- What did the blanket scream as it fell off a bed? Oh sheet.
- What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Look out pillow.
- What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed? Holy Sheet.
- How do you make a bed in winter? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
- Why did the kid wrap all his books in a blanket? So that he could cover the entire syllabus.
- Did you hear about the woman who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster? She kept popping out of bed.
- Why does your laptop have a blanket on it? It’s on sleep mode.
- I love my electric blanket, I’m never going back to my acoustic one.
- I saw an Elsa blanket, I didn’t get it though, the cold never really bothered me anyway.
- Why did the blanket need a therapist? Because it always covered up its feelings.
- My daughter asked for a Frozen blanket so, last night she slept on the balcony.
- I loved my job at the blanket company. Until it folded.
- My husband traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night, but I will recover.
Printable blanket puns and jokes
More freebie printables
Check out out other fun free printables and jokes!
