Guitar Jokes (no AI here!)

My oldest son has been playing guitar for a year now and just loves it. Comes home from school, has some food and then straight upstairs to play on it, which is great as I think the more hobbies away from screens these days is a big positive! I used to play a lot more when I was younger, but now I enjoy listening more than playing (I just listen to Nine Inch Nails like all day, every day… my favorite band by a mile!).

Anyway, I have some guitar jokes here that I have reviewed and that I have added to with a couple of my own. There is also a printable version of some of the jokes if you wish to print and cut them out. Hope one of them at least strums a chord with you, and if you have any other guitar puns, let me know in the comments so I can review and add them to the list!

A card reads: “Why can’t Woody play his guitar? He doesn’t know where his Pixar.” The card has an orange border and rests on a round marble surface, with another similar card partially beneath it.

Guitar Jokes

What’s God’s favorite chord? Gsus.
What do you call a bass player that only knows two chords? A professional.
Why was the guitar player arrested? Because they got in treble.
What do you call a female police officer who plays the guitar? SHE RIFF.
Used guitar for sale. No strings attached.
Why was the guitarist late for work? He got caught in a jam.
Why can’t Woody play his guitar? He doesn’t know where his Pixar.
Why did Darth Vader search the guitar shop? To find the hidden rebel bass.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar? Shreddar.
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar? Finger prince.
What do you call a guitar moving? Walk and roll.
Why did the rock star put his guitar in the fridge? Because he wanted to play cool music.
The notes G, Bb & D walk into a bar. The barman says, “No minors.”
Why couldn’t the fisherman play his guitar? Because he lost his tuna.
Does Freddie know how to play guitar? No, but Brian may.
My friends are like my guitar, I don’t have a guitar.
My wife likes to crochet and plays the guitar, she’s a real knit picker.
How many guitarists does it take to play Stairway to Heaven? Apparently all of them.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar? Ginny Hendrix.
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just steal somebody else’s light.
What is the difference between a rock guitarist, and a jazz guitarist? One plays three chords in front of thousands of people, the other plays thousands of chords in front of three people.
How do you understand that a guitarist is extremely worried? When he starts to fret a lot.
What do vacuum cleaners and electric guitars have in common? When you plug them in, they suck.
When guitarists die, why are they buried 6 feet under? Because guitarists are really nice people deep down.
Why do guitarists leave their guitar cases on the dashboard of their car? So they can park in handicap spaces.
What did the guitar say to the guitarist? Pick on someone your own size.
Why was the amateur guitarist licking his guitar? Because he wanted to increase his taste in music.
Did you hear about the farmer who played guitar out in his cornfield? It was music to his ears.
Why did they call the new guy the prison guitarist? He was always behind a few bars and can never find the right keys.
Guitars are the most depressed instruments because they’re always getting picked on.
There are a million women in the world but a guitar player always has his pick.
I used to be in a very heavy metal band. I played a lead guitar.