Apple Jokes (plus a free printable!)

I love a good crisp apple (not the floury-tasting ones) but my fav way to have apple is for them to be cooked down a but in cinnamon and and sugar, then added to some kind of pie. My wife Elien has her food blogs where she makes like this Dutch Apple Pie which makes me hungry just thinking about it. So if you want something to eat now while reading these apple jokes, I understand.

I compiled this list of jokes about apples from human sources only (we don’t use AI here!) and I have added a couple original puns in there too. There’s a printable version in case you want to print, cut and maybe pop inside a lunchbox along with an apple. And if you have any jokes to add, then please let me know in the comment section below.

A card with the text: What do you call two apples next to each other? A pear. Another card is partially visible underneath, all placed on a white wavy-edged dish with striped fabric in the background.

Apple Jokes

What can a whole apple do that a half an apple can’t? Look round.
Why did the apple go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call a doctor who specializes in Adam’s apples? A guyneckologist
What do you get when you drop a smartphone into a deep fryer? An Apple fritter.
Why didn’t the boy choose the apple over the pear? He liked the apple butter.
What do you call two apples next to each other? A pear.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
Who led all the apples to the bakery? The Pie Piper.
Why couldn’t Eve eat the apple? Because it was Adam’s apple.
Why did the man eat apples at the bank? He wanted to eat rich food.
What’s an Egyptian apple pie? The kind mummy used to make.
If a man has got 6 apples in one hand and 8 bananas in the other, what has he got? Massive hands.
What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together? They lived appleyever after.
How do you make apple turnover? Push it downhill.
Who is an apple’s favorite relative? A Granny.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pears.
What kind of apples do they eat in the desert? Camel apples.
Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? Because they have such a high turnover rate.
What do you get when you cross a steam train with an apple pie? Puff pastry.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
What lives in an apple and loves to read? A bookworm.
What has apples and 3.14 slices? An apple Pi.
What’s the best thing to put into an apple pie? Your teeth.
What kind of apple throws the best parties? Gala apples.
What did the apple pie say after thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone.