Cheese Jokes (not made with AI!)

Cheese is so good, but if you’re dairy intolerant, I feel bad because I would get massive FOMO watching others eat a cheese platter! I love blue cheese and havarti the most, but I used to eat so much of it that I’m paying for it now! Diet time for me which means my cheese intake is way down.

So to supplement my reduced cheese consumption, I found that I could still enjoy cheese jokes (zero calories!), so I have been stuffing myself with them. I have got all the cheese jokes I could find (written by real people), made some cheesy puns myself, organized them like a cheese platter and served them up for you below. Have made a free printable version of some of the cheese jokes that you can download and if you have any cheese jokes, please let me know down in the comments.

Cheese Jokes

What do you call a cheese’s enemy? His arch nemeswiss.
What cheese is made backwards? Edam.
When can’t you see a cheese? When it’s pasterised.
A guy opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese. It’s a hole business strategy.
What did the cheese say to her boyfriend? We look gouda to-feta.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning? Hallo-u-mi.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted? How dairy.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat? Edam.
Last night, I watched a documentary about mozzarella cheese. It was G-rated.
What kind of cheese makes the best music? Brieoncé.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door? I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.
What did the ball of mozzarella say as it was getting shredded? I’m falling to pizzas.
What did the man say when someone threw dough, tomato sauce, and cheese at him? You wanna pizza me?
What kind of music does cheese listen to? R’n’brie.
Where did the cheese go on vacation? The Golden Grate Bridge.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class? I dis a brie.
What did the cheese say to the therapist? I camembert it any longer.
What’s a cheese’s favorite TV channel? The Brie Brie C.
What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke? There was a meltdown.
What is cheese without a cracker? Crackalackin.
What classical music does cheese love? Mozart-ella.
What’s the fanciest cheese hotel? The Stilton.
How does cheese get curly hair? It gets a perm-esean.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar? His pick-up line was too cheesy.
What is cheese’s favorite pasta? Feta-cine.
If Cinderella made pizzas for a living, would she be called Mozzarella?
This might sound so cheesy, but I think you are really grate.
It’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover when they tell you they are pretty fondue you.
A girl had an addiction to cheddar cheese but it was only mild.
Do you want to hear a cheesy joke? Nevermind, it’s no gouda.
What do you say to someone who is trying to steal your cheese? This is nacho cheese.
Which cheese does the pope like most? Swiss cheese, it’s holey.
What did the cheese say in the haunted house? I got to get out of here, I’m lac-ghost intolerant.
What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese? Gorgonzilla.
When mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan rent a small beach house together its called cottage cheese.