Valentine’s Day Jokes and Puns
Why did the skeleton go to the Valentine’s Day party alone? Because he had no body to go with! If you’re looking for more love-filled laughs, check out our collection of Valentine’s Day puns and jokes that’ll have your heart beating with laughter.
Valentine’s Day Jokes and Puns
1. What did the circle say to the triangle on Valentine’s Day? I think you’re acute.
2. What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day? Lots of hogs and kisses.
3. What did one light bulb say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I love you a whole watt.
4. What did the man with the broken leg tell his Valentine? I have a crutch on you.
5. What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match.
6. Why were the forks disappointed on Valentine’s Day? All they wanted to do was spoon.
7. For Valentine’s Day I made a chart of past relationships. It has an ex-axis and a why-axis.
8. What did one sheep say to the other on February 14? I love ewe.
9. If you are not in love on Valentine’s Day, don’t worry. You don’t have to be dead on Halloween, either.
10. I thought I got a Valentine’s Day card from a football referee. But it was a red card.
11. I bought my girlfriend vegetables on Valentine’s Day. She thinks I’m corny.
12. I just saved a bunch of money on Valentine’s Day. I just switched to single.
13. What did the scientist say to her Valentine? I think of you periodically.
14. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day? I lava you.
15. Booked a table for 2 for the Valentine’s Day. Hope my girlfriend likes snooker.
16. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon.
17. What did the ghost say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? You look so Boo-tiful.
18. All a woman wants for Valentine’s Day is a card. Visa or Master card, it really does not matter.
19. What do you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day.
20. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day? I’m nuts about you.
21. My friend told me he has trouble getting a date for Valentine’s Day. I don’t understand what’s so hard about it. They literally grow in trees.
22. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
23. What did the drum say to the other drum on Valentine’s Day? My heart beats for you.
24. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental.
25. What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
26. What do Italians say to each other on Valentine’s Day? You’ve got a pizza my heart.
27. What did the pickle say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re a big dill to me.
28. What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day? I turt-ally love you.
29. What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers.
30. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
Make sure to submit your own jokes in the comment section or just tell us your favorite joke!