Bottle Jokes (Written By Real People!)

Sometimes you need a joke about bottles, and if that’s the case, you’re in the right place! It’s harder than it sounds coming up with good jokes that feature bottles as the main punchline! The list below combines a mix of the best bottle puns I have found, (made by real people) plus a selection of others we came up with. But, the list is still pretty small, so if you’ve got any to add, let me know in the comments!

And, to add a little extra, I’ve made a printable of some of the jokes so you can print ’em out and add them into a lunchbox, or you know, a message in a bottle maybe?

Bottle Jokes

1. The soda delivery trucks all showed up at once. It was a bottleneck.
2. Why was the old milk bottle so sad? Because it was empty inside.
3. Why was the soda so bad at therapy? It kept everything bottled up.
4. Why was the soda bottle so stressed? It was under pressure.
5. What did the beer bottle say to the wine bottle when it wouldn’t stop talking? Put a cork in it. 
6. Why did the guy bring beer bottles to the gym? He wanted a six-pack.
7. What do you call a singing soda bottle? A pop star.
8. What is a water bottle’s favorite game to play? Follow the litre.
9. How do you get a holy bottle of water ? By boiling the hell out of it.
10. The rock bands held a contest, and the grand prize was a case of beer. It was the ultimate bottle of the bands.
11. Did you hear when the wine attacked the beer? It was a fierce bottle. 
12. My grandfather is 87, and he still doesn’t need glasses. He drinks straight from the bottle.
13. I asked a friend why he was staring at a bottle of orange juice. He replied that it said “concentrate” on it.
14. What do robots drink from? A ro-bottle.
15. What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle? Water you doing today?
16. Sometimes the soda said ‘come here’, other times it said ‘go away.’ Talk about mixed messages in the bottle.
17. My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator. It’s not cool man.
18. If you work at a water bottle factory, it must be difficult not to drink on the job.

Printable jokes

More freebie printables

Check out out other fun free printables and jokes!

• Mad Libs For Workplace
• Free Bridal Shower Mad Lib Style Printable
• Funny Pirate Mad Libs Style – Free Printable
• 80 Free Printable Lunchbox Jokes – Instant Download

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